Tuesday, May 19, 2009

So a little explanation

If I haven't lost my full three people fan base, I will give you a little excuse for my absence.

I have been gestating and to save me from ruining my own surprise, my typing fingers have been hibernating. This hibernation also might have something to do with needing a daily nap as much as Anna and being moderately nauseous. As my first trimester is winding down, I am committed to document my life in the way that I do.

I look at this picture daily in amazement remembering the pulsating heart chambers. The hope I found in a similar pulsation more than three years ago, that I could reproduce again. Anna was sick last week and is I felt that pulse that I thought of her moment, I thought of Harris when his sonar heart echoed in a room, and I thought of the determined healthy embryo I hold. I cry a lot these days. More than with the other two. Not full out sobs and not angry tantrums about not being able to make it all the way through the grocery store without my stomach rising to my throat, but I tear up. Water pools in my eye ducts. I see Anna peddle her bike down the sidewalk, I tear up. I hear Harris practice his lines for his play, I tear up. I hear the occasional giggles as they spend a lazy Saturday morning together, and I am a goner. I probably would have cried more before if I would have known at the starting line about how full my life was to be . How Aaron, I and God's infinite grace would create three heart beats to give rhythm to our lives. I am truly blessed.